Wednesday, February 11, 2015

A Very Serious Discussion About Sex

Valentine's Day is Saturday. I have big plans to do absolutely nothing with my husband. We've been married for 13 years and we have 4 kids and 2 dogs and a mortgage. It's not as easy these days to thrown caution (and our undergarments) to the wind and speak the ancient language of love (chocolate, probably) to each other. Especially when there's Netflix instead. 

But it wouldn't be a bad thing if I dedicated this Valentine's to getting close with my husband in bed not watching Netflix. After all, I enjoy it, he enjoys it and there's all of that mutual respect (for some space afterward so that all parties can go right to sleep like God intended for middle-aged married people) that only happens in a longterm relationship. 

But since our carefree, youthful days of romance have passed, I'll need to plan a little if I want to get to the good stuff (again, sleeping afterward, please pay attention). 

That's where writer Erin MacPherson comes in. This Valentine's Day, invite a sassy blonde into the bedroom. Erin has a short ebook you can get now, and a new follow-up coming along soon, I'm lending her my blog so she can tell us all about S-E-X and her new book.


I know this is a funny blog.

And I know that as a guest poster, I should be getting in line with Nicole's tone and talking about something hilarious and light.  But I just can't.  Because I have something very serious to talk to you about ladies.

We need to talk about sex.

And how you should be having a whole lot more of it. 

Now before you open your mouth and start to dish out one of your excuses, let me be clear: I don't want to hear it.  I know you're tired.  I know you're cranky because you just stepped on a Lego for the seventeenth time today.  And I know that those yoga pants are so well worn-in that there is absolutely no way you would even consider taking them off unless it's to change into another pair of yoga pants.

But here's the thing:  I cannot sit idly by and let you wallow away in your granny panties when there is good old-fashioned sex to be had. 

So consider this an intervention of sorts. 

And we're going to have a little come-to-Jesus talk about all of the reasons that you should pick up your phone right now, text your man, and tell him to get ready.

Because tonight is the night that your inner hot mama is going to make her debut.

5 Reasons You Need to Be Having More Sex

1.     It's good for your kids.  When I was working on my sex book, I interviewed hundreds of women about sex.  And one of the most common things women told me is that they were raised to think sex was bad.  And then when they got married, they had a hard time switching those "sex is bad" voices off in their heads. One of the best things we can do for our kids is show them a thriving, happy example of what a marriage should look like.   And while you should definitely lock your door when you're actually having sex, letting your kids see that you love your man will help them shape healthy views about the birds and the bees.

2.     It boosts your confidence.  Even on my frumpiest days, nothing can make me feel better about myself than slipping on a pair of cute undies and, well…

3.     You won't have to go to the gym as often.  I hate the gym.  I want to like it.  In fact, my news year's resolution was to try to become a gym rat.  But you guys, it's just not fun to wear tight clothes around all of these skinny, in-shape women and pretend that I know what I'm doing on the treadmill.  I'd rather… have sex.  And the good news is that it's actually a pretty good substitute.  I read online (and Google never lies) that you can burn 150 calories having sex.  Take that times seven days and you've burned a good 1,000 calories. 

4.     Your marriage will be stronger.  Sex is a great connector.  One of the woman I interviewed in my book told me her best piece of marriage advice is to fight naked.  She said they never have a hard time making up when sex is involved.  And while I'll go ahead and go on a limb and say that there are some arguments that you should probably stay clothed for (um, let's just say we occasionally fight about my mother-in-law), there are some fights that could easily be solved with this one simple trick.

5.     It's the right thing to do.  There are very few areas in life where the right thing is the fun thing.  But sex is one of them.  Sex is good for your marriage, good for your confidence, good for your body… and it's fun.  (If only eating chocolate was the same.)  Seriously, ladies.  Do the right thing.  Do the fun thing.  Do your thing.

Need more inspiration?  My new sex book Hot Mama comes out this fall, but we're releasing a couple of short e-books to help get everyone in the mood.  The first e-book '10 Ideas to Inspire Red Hot Sex' is on sale for 99 cents this week and it's full of fun (I mean, very serious) sex ideas that will get things rocking at your house.

So tear off those granny panties and get going. 

Have I made myself clear?

Erin MacPherson is the author of more than ten books, including her new release, Hot Mama, a series about married sex.  She lives in Austin, Texas with her three kids and her hot husband.  She blogs at