Monday, August 31, 2015

If Kids Made Internet Memes

I'm a professional humorist, as it happens. That means that I think deeply about human nature and make "a-ha!" observations that cause my readers to smile and nod and feel connected in our universal suffering of the same condition: The human condition. 
Just kidding. I make memes and retweet fart jokes. 
Just like a young boy of 10. Which inspired me to wonder, if kids made memes, what would they look like?
I spent 15, maybe 17 minutes trolling the Internet for some of my favorite memes and turned them into something the wittest 7-, or even 9-year-old might write. 
Toddler says,"I see you're speaking with tall people. I'll just need to stop you right there."

Third grade got you down, Sport?

Pretty sure I'm allergic to "baby trees," mom.

Oh, to be 6 and sippin' on a successfully punctured pouch of, well, I wouldn't call it "juice," not technically.

Every toddler knows that crumbs do not a cookie make.

Just think kids, when you grow up, you might have a career making the same jokes you're making right now! But grown-ups won't even let you operate the toaster oven without supervision. It's a fool's world, children, and the big secret of adulthood is that adults are still waiting to become grown-ups.